You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
