Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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