my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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