Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
