She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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