why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
