i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
