White coat. Heels.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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