There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
