You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
