I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
my liver is dry heaving
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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