Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
