I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
