You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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