dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
