I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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