Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I seem to have left my pride at pride
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
