I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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