"it" just moved
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
