Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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