..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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