i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He kissed a someone with a penis
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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