If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
