AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
