just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize