I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
