At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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