He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
