I think I am morally bankrupt
high people should be assigned attendants
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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