I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
