I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
