so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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