True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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