She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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