She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize