**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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