Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
