yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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