i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
