I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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