it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
