Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
