Ambien. No doubt about it.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
