girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
