no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
