I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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