I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I think my fart just growled at me.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
