if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
