Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
