if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
