Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
