O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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