yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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