that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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