I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
