remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
