You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
