Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
