Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
