It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
