Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
