if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
