I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize